The beach

I am in Devon this weekend at my parents. The first time in about ten weeks when I have had the time and energy to leave Bristol. Went to Charmouth beach today, it is cold and windy. The sea was rough and high but it was good walking down the beach and watching the sunset.

I feel ok - the scar is healed and my muscles are starting to find their correct positions. It is still very much building up strength and confidence but that is fine. I know not to push it to hard but also know the importance of getting moving which helps to get the blood flowing and healing. It also makes you feel a bit more normal. I realise that I have lost quite a bit of fitness. When the process began I could easily run ten miles and walk 30, that was about 10 weeks ago, now I would not be able to run more than 15 metres and would not want to. I think I could at a push walk about 5 miles before I started to feel a bit painful in the scar/kidney area. I can also feel that my conditioning, muscle, breathing and heart rate are not at the same level of fitness as they were. But on the other hand I have just had a major operation and ten weeks off pretty hard core medical treatment that has put a lot of stress on my body.

For people who go through this process - desensitisation I cannot stress how important it is to get fit before you start it has helped me so much. It has enabled me to cope with things much better through the process.