after life

It surprises me that lots of the conversation about the opt out option of organ donation rotates around the idea that people dont want to donate organs because they might need them or that perhaps they are not dead. Do some people expect to be continued to be fed, pumped with oxygen etc even when they are declared clinically dead. Upon burial or cremation do they expect to survive under 10 ft of soil or the cremation process. I guess that if you are not dead when you are dead - having an organ removed will probably be the least of your worries. In my opinion this reason for not donating is not a strong one.

Met up with an old friend last night (he has become a hair dresser or something similar, sorry mate but I promised I would would be honest) it was good to catch up with him and to realise how this blog has been read by people who I did not expect to read it - and wonder how they discovered it. I am wondering how I should keep the blog going, I guess the angle is to try and keep promoting kidney research and donation plus updating on my progress.

Any ideas?

Response

Over the past few weeks many people have commented on how can I stay positive - it must be hard. Do you not get depressed?

My response is this. I have had kidney problems my whole life and thus firstly know no difference. Since I was a little child it has been bred into my to be positive and to get on with it. I have seen people in much worse scenarios than me and I see them each time I go to hospital - this makes me feel stronger. I have always had good family support and the mind that has enabled me to switch off negative feelings - negative feelings I believe spiral down and down. In my opinion they are bad for health.

When I was a child I was in hospital for a long time and spent many hours alone on a bed with numerous machines attached to me. I was close to dying - a number of kids died around me. I came through that with a very clear memory (probably a self defence memory) what is the worst that can to yourself? You die. I am not sure that this is correct now - worst things can happen and perhaps death is the ultimate escape?

Before people start wondering I am not thinking that I am going to die soon. I am just trying to explain my feelings to people who ask the question? Do you not get depressed and down?


Ps if anyone who works with or on Rituximab is reading this I would be very interested in talking with you. Please leave a comment and I will get back to you. It regards my current treatment

Tuesday - second day

Woke up at about 11am today. Had normal type of sleep on and off. Took a sleeping pill which helped. It seems that being on dialysis has a major effect on the ability to sleep. Many of us find this - I think the doctors should pay a bit more attention to these types of things. Normally they say see your GP - I am not sure this approach works with renal patients. Perhaps they need to make the communication better. I am lucky and I have an amazing GP and consultant who I can talk to openly and understand what is going on. But some of the reports I here from other patients is not as good.

Had some sad news yesterday - one of my fellow dialysis patients died on Sunday. I had been dialysing in the same slot as him for the past 18 months. So that is sad - he had major heart problems. Not much more I can say really, I tend not to get emotional over death - unless that person is very close to me. I feel that death comes to us all and have accepted that fact. When you have accepted that it actually makes living easier!

Dialysis in a couple of hours first time I would have dialysed on a tuesday - the television is shit as well which makes it boring. Probably take a dvd.

I am now on a full regime of antirejection drug in preparation for the transplant. I cant imagine what is happening inside my body at the moment. yesterday literally blasted all my white blood cells apart leaving with little immunity.